A Miracle on Percy Street...

Yesterday I was feeling really shitty.

Seasonal adjustment disorder or a hormonal coup d'etat...who knows.

Who cares.

But on my way home,

I dragged my sorry butt into the supermarket to pick up a few necessaries.

While I put my things through the register, this lovely lady on the checkout who I don't really know- but she musta' noticed me before- smiled & said 'you've lost a lot of weight! you look really good'!

I was stunned. I didn't know what to say.

Kind words from strangers are so rare...when they come, they can startle you; leave you losferwords.

I eventually found my tongue, thanked her, took my goodies & went about my business...a little lighter in the loafers.

Some would call this a 'miracle'...

The best gift of all...

Expect nothing from human beings, and you will never be disappointed.

It can even be liberating not expecting too much from yourself.

Set yourself- and others- free from expectation, and you will be released from an unnecessary prison.

Then, when something good happens, it will be a wonderful surprise; an unexpected bonus.

The best gift of all is the one you never expect!

THE GRUDGE

Spare a thought for those who hold a grudge.

For such people- sometimes it is ALL they have to hold.

Try to understand.

To forgive.

& to let go, with love...

Inventory.

Love 'em all. Let God sort 'em out.

Basic Math.

(Most people cannot be trusted most of the time) + (We have to trust someone eventually) = FAITH.

Mistakes.

Make mistakes.

Make ALL of them.

And don't worry if you made all the mistakes you were warned against.

"EVERY mistake in the book."

Because a mistake is MEANINGLESS until YOU have made it.

And most importantly, stop riding yourself for these mistakes.

Apart from the obvious health hazards of berating yourself...who on earth said that making a lot of silly mistakes is not what we were put on the planet for?

What else is human civilization but a giant collection of silly mistakes in an orderly pattern??

True Love.

I realise now it is virtually impossible to love others until you learn to love yourself.

The question is, how do we love ourselves?

I don't think many of us were ever taught how. Not really.

And an absence of love in ones life leads inevitably to a state of hate.

Many have asked- & i am one of them- "how do i love myself"??

Some of us TRY to do it, but it is not really love; it is more like self interest, selfishness, or being 'up oneself'.

This is not love.

So how then do we love ourselves?

In my opinion, one of the impediements to true, authentic self love is our habit of being hard on ourselves.

The way we punish ourselves, judge ourselves, berate ourselves for every little transgression.

You cannot love yourself- or anyone else- while you are roasting yourself over the fire of your failures, your shortcomings, or your past 'sins' & iniquities.

This will only lead to more of the same.

The first step to loving yourself, is to LET GO of this negative self harm. Just let it go.

We are so interenched in this fowl habit, it will take many of us a great deal of time to let go effectively, but do it we must.

For to love- to truly love- there is no other way.

Let go of self punishment.

Just let go.

Let the negative self harming thoughts that assail you in the darkest night dissolve like aspirin in a glass of water.

In time, that fizzy lump will dissolve that you might see clearly.

And in that clarity, love will grow.

For yourself first, & then for others.

True love...

I asked...

I asked the wind how to love better, and she gently whispered in reply, "Be Love Now."

The Darkness...

Most of at some point in life are forced to lumber- often in a most undignified manner- into the darkness. Of course it's no fun; that's why they call it 'darkness'. Whether you like it or not, this is the only way you can find out who you are. It is an abiding curiosity about who you truly are- & how far/high you can take yourself- that will see you through into the light.

The Hardest Part...

Many of us are stuck, for a variety of reasons. And we all have our different sticking points.

For me, the worst thing, the hardest part of the journey has been to forgive myself.

I carry around past regrets like a burning in my solar plexus. And the worst regrets are the unkind ways i have treated certain people in my life.

There are always extenating circumstances, chances to blame others, but the path to salvation to me seems to be to first own what we have done, & find a way to move away from it so we can travel onward and upward.

Nothing in life we have done is so amazing it deserves to be reviewed constantly, and carried around our neck like an albatross.

So why should we carry around our past misery?

What do you regret?

Name it- own it if need be, take responsibility for it- then let it go.

Forgive yourself first, that you might better forgive others.

Love yourself first, that you might love others better.

And I'll do the same.

My new home...

I have lived in a run down old shack by the toxic waste dump for long enough. It has been a place of fear, deception, self loathing and hatred.

I am moving to a better part of town.

It's a bigger brighter home- needs a little work- but like a friend of mine used to say, 'it has good bones'.

And in the House of Love and Forgiveness...everybody is welcome!